вторник, 25 июня 2013 г.

Письмо сыну, про свидания. Перепост!

Перепост, взято отсюда.
Dear Son,
Dating is a tricky thing and doing it right is difficult. But it is honestly, the most important thing you will ever do. Because how you date will dictate who you date. And who you date will become your wife. And who your wife is will determine your future family and so forth and so on. So date wisely.
Here are a few expectations I have for you when it comes to dating:
1. Always ask a girl on a date. Straight forward & direct. AND always ask in person. If that just isn’t possible then ask over the phone. Never, I mean never, ask a girl on a date through a text, instant message, or email.
2. Always take a girl out on a date. None of this “let’s hang out at my place & watch a movie” nonsense. I expect you to pick her up & take her somewhere. It doesn’t have to be fancy or elaborate or immensely creative. Sometimes the best dates are simple, like a picnic in the park. You should always make sure you take her to a place you know she will feel comfortable & enjoy.
3. Open the car door for your date. Open all doors for your date.
4. Pay for your date. No questions asked. Your father & I will make sure you always have money for your dates. Do not ever split the bill.
5. Walk to the door to pick up your date. Never text from the car, or worse yet, HONK! And always walk your date to the door at the end of the night.
6. Use your good senses when it comes to kissing. Don’t kiss every girl, but don’t be afraid to kiss the rightgirl.
7. Listen to your date. The best dates involve getting to know the other person so take your date somewhere that will allow you to talk. Ask her questions & share insight about yourself. The purpose of dating is to find someone you could spend your future with. So the longer you date a person, the more you should get to know her.
8. Always make your intentions clear. If you aren’t clicking with a girl then end it. Don’t string her along. It may hurt her for a minute but she will appreciate your honesty. And if you are feeling a connection then let her know. A girl loves clarity. It will make the whole dating process easier if you follow this one simple rule.
9. Date around, but only seriously date one girl at a time. Once you’ve found a girl you are interested in and going exclusive with, be faithful to her. Always, always be faithful. If you decide things aren’t working out or you meet someone else you’d like to get to know, refer back to rule #8.
10. Be physical. The right way! Hold hands, put your arm around her shoulders or eventually her waist, kiss her head, put your hand on her knee, these sweet gestures speak volumes & make a woman feel cared for. Going too far physically only confuses the relationship & it can never be undone.
11. Handle her heart with care. Women are strong, but they are also delicate. Don’t ruin that. Do not be responsible for hardening a woman’s heart.
12. Get to know her family & friends and let your family & friends get to know her. Especially Me.
13. When the time comes, tell her you love her, a lot. In fact, tell her all sorts of nice things. Everyone deserves to be complimented.
14. Serve her. Not like a waiter. Perform acts of service for her; make her breakfast, take out her trash, offer her your jacket when she’s cold, you get the point.
15. Surprise her. Again, a little can go a long way. Just stick with small surprises. Bring her a case of her favorite soda, pick her flowers, or show up at her work for a surprise lunch date.
16. Never underestimate the power of the written word. As nice as it is to hear good things, it’s even better to have them written down so you can reference back to them. You should write letters or notes to your love often.
17. When the time is right & you’ve found that special someone, get down on one knee & ask her those 4 special words.
I love you now, forever and always. And know that someday, I’ll love her too.
Love, Mom

понедельник, 17 июня 2013 г.

Про сравнения. Перепост

Posted: 17 Jun 2013 07:00 AM PDT
By Leo Babauta
One of the biggest reasons we’re not content with ourselves and our lives is that we compare ourselves to other people.
Picture it: you see photos of what someone else is doing on Facebook and think your life isn’t exciting enough. You see someone else who has a cool job and think you’re not doing that great in your career. You see someone with a hotter body, and feel bad about yours. You see someone who has created an awesome business, and think you’re not doing enough. You read about people who are traveling the world, learning languages, going to exotic resorts and restaurants, and wonder why you’re not.
Of course, you’re comparing your reality to an ideal, a fantasy.
It’s not a comparison that makes sense. You can’t compare apples to apples when you compare yourself to anyone else. Which means it’s a dumb comparison — why would you compare how tangy an orange is compared to a beach? They’re not similar things.
Let’s take an example: I’m out running in the park, and I see someone running past me. Obviously he’s a faster runner, and better than me! Oh, that makes me feel horrible about myself as a runner!
Except I can’t compare myself to that faster runner, because I don’t have all the information. I don’t know:
  • how far they’re running (I might be running 12 miles and they’re running 2)
  • where they are in their training plan (I might be starting out on my plan, while they’re in week 20)
  • where they are in their particular run (I might be warming up, while they’re at the hardest part of their workout)
  • how many years they’ve been running (maybe I’ve only started, and they’ve been running for 15 years)
  • their injury status (maybe I recently injured an ankle while they’re not injured)
  • what event they’re training for (maybe they are training for a mile race, or a bike race, and I’m training for a 50-mile race)
  • what else is going on in their lives (maybe they have nothing else going on, while I’ve been working hard, socializing, and moving to a new house and getting little sleep)
  • what motivates them (maybe I just like the peace of running mindfully, while they want to beat everyone else on the path)
Given these and a bunch of other factors I don’t know anything about, why would I compare my speed at this moment with the speed of another runner? They’re irrelevant to each other. We just happen to be both running on the same path at the same time, but that’s coincidence, and nothing else is the same.
And even if everything else were exactly the same (would never happen), how would the comparison be useful? It would be meaningless even then.
The only thing I should focus on, as a runner, is myself. Enjoy the run. Learn about myself as I run. Keep going, and in doing so, I’ll get better — compared to myself.
And that’s the only thing we should focus on in life — enjoy the walk, learn about ourselves, keep taking steps and drop the comparisons. You’ll love the journey even more.